What makes love last gottman pdf

Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust. Love can vary in intensity and can change over time.

Contempt is the kiss of death to a relationship. The last horseman is stonewalling , and couples who regularly engage in this behavior are more likely to get divorced.

Research shows that this is the most damaging behavior to engage in. Simply put, stonewalling is when you become nonresponsive. Evidence based couples therapy is a science-based approach to helping couples.

Evidence-based or science-based practices are treatments that are based directly on scientific evidence. Gottman says that fondness and admiration are two of the most important elements in a satisfying and long-term relationship. Sternberg suggests that there are three main components of love: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Love relationships vary depending on the presence or absence of each of these components. Passion refers to the intense, physical attraction partners feel toward one another.

John Gottman was divorced twice before he met his current wife, and together, they became famous for his research on successful relationships. World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, John Gottman has conducted 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples.

His work on marriage and parenting has earned him numerous major awards, including: Four National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Awards.

There is a thing, I Googled it, called silent divorce. They describe conquest, war, hunger, and death respectively. We use this metaphor to describe communication styles that, according to our research, can predict the end of a relationship.

Contempt in marriage, according to Dr. John Gottman, is the single most corrosive behavior in a relationship. Treating others with disrespect, disdain, mockery, name-calling, aggressive humor, and sarcasm are examples of contemptuous behavior. One of the most important parts of a relationship is to trust one another completely. You have to trust each other enough to be vulnerable on an emotional and physical level, too. In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Gottman argues that the basis for a happy marriage is a deep friendship with mutual respect and a positive attitude.

Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors , and attitudes that indicate sexual and other forms of betrayal, and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken.

I plan to buy a copy for each of my kids as they start looking for life partners; it is that great. Search for:. What Makes Love Last? What Makes Love Last? Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other.

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